Posts Tagged ‘Tuesday Tip’

Tuesday Tip–by Elayna

December 20, 2011

My Mom started a nice private little Mother Daughter tradition between us back when I was in school that I keep going today.and I wanted to share it with you.. She and   I would go to LL Bean together every fall to get things for school.. And she knew that Lanz flannel nightgowns were THE thing all the girls wore back at school. Since it was a women s college.. During exam times your outfit consisted of your Lanz flannel nightgown, topsiders and your long wool dress coat and scarf to go to the library to study.. where they had comfy off white couches you could claim for the whole exam period.. leave your books there and just leave to eat and sleep!

Consequently everybody went to the dining hall in that outfit too! We loved those days! My Mom belonged at a womens college herself with her independence and her leadership potential if you aak me!  Shed have made a good woman to run for office! A force to reckon with!

Mom would make sure when I was distracted at Beans…she picked out a warm fluffy new Lanz flannel nightgown for me and would spirit away until Christmas Eve..

She d leave a candle lit in my bathroom with a fragrant bubble bath… some paperwhites she d potted and grown just for me..a cool soft drink.. And a small plate of a snack like cheese and crackers…Mom loved cheese ;)…These would be in a pretty little arrangement on the sink countertop… in my bathroom at our house I grew up in..

With the sunken red jacuzzi bath ..snow white counters and floors that my Mom picked out when it was built in the 70s!

I would find  a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift left there for me..with a card from Mom.. Left quietly with love.. And she d slip away to the mad wrapping frenzy in her room for the night..it was our private Mother Daughter moment.. And tradition.. And Id smile.. Light the candles by the bath.. And nibble on the goodies while soaking for a break in my nice hot bubble bath.. courtesy of Mom..

Then Id unwrap what I knew would be my nightgown from her..

But it didnt take away from the specialness of that moment and the love she put into it..every year.. Id snuggle into my new warm cozy nightgown.. And then slip into MY room for the mad wrapping frenzy that would go on in THERE all night.

Sometimes we d actually have to call each other on the phone to ask each other something! Tvs on and peeking in with our eyes covered if we HAD to ask something of the other in person or just to tease that we were peeking! Sometimes cuz we missed each other..

I could feel the love and my Moms hug with that tradition every year.. And so.. This year.. having just lost my Mom..as fate would have it..about a week ago.. Just around the time when we d go to LL
Bean in the days before we all started ordering online.. I found myself in the store.. And when her favorite Christmas hymn came on.. O Holy Night.. there I was next to the Lanz fla nightgown display.

I felt Mom with me…
smiled…and her Spirit reached out and my hand touched the flannel nightgown I think she would have gotten for me. to keep Moms tradition going! She was hugging me then.. I just knew it!

I have my paperwhites..though they re in a ready made kit.. All set to go.. I have my candle and cheese and crackers in stock..some sparkling water.. and some bubble bath..!

Mom.. You ll be with me still.. on Christmas Eve this week!  Ill feel your hug.. and your love..with your tradition..we ll continue it together.. My Lanz flannel nightgown…from My Mom.  🙂

Thanks Mom.. XO Laynie…

Start your own tradition.. Whether with your Daughter.. Mother.. Sister.. Friend.. Those little moments are what we cherish and remember most..of all..

This was and continues to be.. my favorite at Christmas.. with my Mom..and I thought Id share it with you.. A tip from me to you..

Something you ll cherish too.. Your own Christmas Eve tradition.. When we are all so busy..find a way to give a special someone a hug from you to them.. In some way.. Just for a minute.. Stop time..start a tradition between you and them that can continue a lifetime! You ll never forget it..!    Me xo

Advertisements

Tuesday Tip–Scripture Study

September 20, 2011

Hi Ladies!  This week Sue Gong is going to share with us her pearls of wisdom.  Below is her Tuesday Tip:

Do you find it hard to read the scriptures?  Take a tip from Ben.  He says, “I have to read in the morning because by the time my day starts everything is moving too fast.  If I waited I would never get my scripture reading done.”

–Other people say that they take their scriptures to work and read them at lunch.  They say that the important thing is to have a regular time.  Make it a habit that’s hard to break.  Same time.  Same place. Every day.
–One person I know reads the scriptures on her knees.  She prays, then reads, then prays some more.  The scriptures are just part of her back-and-forth conversation with God.
–Another friend of mine reads the scriptures with a pen and notebook in hand.  She says the Lord gives her spiritual messages when she’s reading, and she has to hurry and get them on paper before she forgets.  “It’s a matter of priority,” she says.  “When the Lord gives me his list, I do it first. His work gets done before mine does.  Somehow when I have requests I feel confident that I can make them known to him.”
— One woman writes a scripture on a piece of paper and tapes it to her bathroom mirror.  Every time she enters the room she takes a minute to memorize her scripture.  When she has it memorized, she takes it down and puts it into her backlog pile.  After two or three new scriptures she takes an old one from the backlog pile and puts it up so she can rememorize it.
–An old trick we tried in seminary was to put the scriptures to song and sing them out loud.  It was amazing to hear my own children singing the old seminary scripture songs years after they were out of school.
I guess the lesson is that there as many ways to read the scriptures as there are personalities. What remains the same is the light and peace that floods into our lives when we are reading and praying consistently.  If you have a unique method of scripture reading, please take a minute and add it to this blog.

 

Tuesday Tips–Family Scheduling

July 5, 2011

FAMILY SCHEDULING

Once upon a time, I had six children at home. The older four were in junior high or high school, while the youngest two didn’t have much to schedule. Terry and I had our individual and joint activities as well. To keep track of all our activities, I would buy a calendar with large spaces to write in multiple events. I assigned a different color to each individual and another color to combined Terry/Donna or family activities and wrote them in with fine point markers.

I had already bought the older kids their own towels in their specific colors, which made it easier to assign responsibility for picking them up from inappropriate locations. My oldest son’s wife has gone even further and bought several sets of plastic plates and glasses in different colors, with each color assigned to a specific child. At one glance, it is easy to see whose plate has been left on the table or who has leftovers in the refrigerator which need to be eaten. There are probably five plates per child so that they don’t run out before the dishwasher processes them.

When my kids were old enough to get their own drinks, I noticed that the top rack of the dishwasher always filled up with glasses long before the bottom was filled with plates. I decided that the glasses didn’t need to be washed after one drink of what was often just water, so I set out coasters on the window sill above our sink and assigned each person a location based on age, starting with the oldest (Dad) on the left. Since we had many mugs of different styles, most of also had our own individual mug. When the dishwasher was full enough to wash dishes, usually once a day, all the mugs went in together.

MEAL HELPERS

After repeatedly being asked, “When is dinner?”, I started telling my kids that it would happen faster if they helped. Their willingness to help often depended on what we were having and how hungry they were. I soon decided that I liked having help and they needed to learn how to cook before they left home anyway, so every night I assigned one or two dinner helpers and someone else for cleanup. I discovered that I had one favorite child for dinner helper because he was an instinctive cook who understood that all the different parts of a meal needed to come together at the same time. He would move from his initial task to the next logical activity without wandering off while I wasn’t looking, like his siblings were prone to do. I had to remind them that they weren’t done until we sat down to eat.

A couple years later, I decided that I needed to go back to work so that we would have enough money to send our high schoolers to college in the near future. I also went back to school at the same time, two or three nights a week. Suddenly I had no time to cook, so I assigned the four older kids one night a week to cook whatever they wanted for the whole family to eat. They made some interesting dinners but most were simple and fairly repetitious. I was in charge of the weekend meals, with Terry’s frequent help.

We found out that it was not a particularly good idea to have different people for cooking and cleanup because some cooks tried to clean as they went along while others left everything for the cleanup person. When the cooking person was in charge of cleanup as well, the messes became more manageable. It also meant that the kids were only tasked one night a week instead of two. This idea was a natural outgrowth of a greater philosophy: “You mess it up, you clean it up,” which applies to everything in life.

Whenever we had company, everyone had to help. The kids liked having company because the meals were better and the conversation was more interesting. Before the actual cooking and setting the table, everyone had to help clean the house. One Saturday we told the kids we were all going to work on cleaning the house. The youngest asked, “Who’s coming over?” I told him no one was coming over, but we just thought it would be nice to have a clean house for a change. He wasn’t nearly as happy about helping as he would have been for company. Moral of the story: Have company often. It gives you a good excuse to clean the house and have a really nice meal.

One Christmas, I photocopied many of our favorite recipe cards onto card stock, which I then cut back to 3×5 size along the outlines of the original cards. I gave each child a recipe file box with divider tabs and all the recipes in their appropriate categories. This was partially in my own self interest since they didn’t always file my recipes in the right places after they used them. It was mainly to give them a basic repertoire of the tried and true to use for cooking on their one night a week but it was for the future too. I also wanted them to have a place to add recipes they would find on their own, which started happening almost immediately.

A year or so ago, I apologized to one of my daughters for not having more interesting meals when they were growing up. I think I felt guilty for that period of time when I was so preoccupied with work and school. Since it was just before they started leaving home, that was the part I remembered best. She reassured me that she didn’t feel slighted at all and that she appreciated the variety of foods that she had learned to eat and cook. It’s interesting that all my kids enjoy cooking. Don, my favorite dinner helper, has naturally turned out to be the most skilled and ambitious cook.

PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE (OR AT LEAST MOTHERHOOD)

I feel that the goal of mothers should be to make themselves obsolete, or at least extraneous. This means that children need to be able to fend for themselves when they leave home. They need to be able to cook, do their own laundry, balance a checkbook, change a tire, and so on. My role was to get them to that point, not to care for their every need as long as they lived at home. I bought a book which talked about what kids should know how to do in many different categories. For example, under cooking there was a long list of different kinds of foods. Although I didn’t follow the book’s structure of keeping track of what I taught my children, I agreed with the principle and tried to work on it. Of course, the best way for them to learn how to do something is to practice doing it the right way, often.

I had them observe me do a load of laundry, then I supervised them doing a load, then I watched without talking unless they were about to make a mistake. When they were comfortable with the process, I let them do it without me hovering around. We did have a few laundry disasters with items that shouldn’t be washed, although you’re never too old to have a disaster if you don’t pay attention and read the label, but they learned the basics. It paid off; a couple of my children told me stories of kids in their college dorms who were clueless and used too much detergent or dyed their clothes pink, to their embarrassment and the amusement and disdain of those who knew better. Good moms don’t let their kids go off unprepared.

This has been a rambling trip down memory lane. I hope it’s been interesting and helpful as well.

–Donna